"You might be a chicken hauler if your lights use more power than your hometown at Christmas." That may be true of "March Madness," owned by Hoffman Transportation of Morris, Ill. Driven and shown by Ron Baird, the 2000 Peterbilt 379 and 2000 Heil pneumatic vac tanker is the winner of the National Association of Show Trucks' 2001 Truck-Lite trophy. It has 267 Truck-Lite LED lamps, plus 29 green neon tubes.

It echoes classic hot-rod styling – the tractor was lowered and it wears retro-styled fiberglass fenders, 1940 Chevy-style headlights and '59 Cadillac taillights. The interior has hardwood floors, oak cabinets and chrome everywhere. It's also a working truck that hauls plastic pellets delivered by train to Hoffman's rail siding. Thus the motto on the tank: "We take over where the train stops."

Baird, 56, has a lifetime total of 97 trophies – 65 in "March Madness" alone – and hopes to break the century mark this year. He's done a lot of the work on the truck himself, and says many of his parts came from the J.C. Whitney parts house instead of more expensive custom shops.

Why call it "March Madness"? "March is when I get ready for the Mid-America Truck Show, and it's also college basketball playoffs," he says. "My boys won't help with the truck unless I have a TV in the shop. So our home is a madhouse in March." Maybe so, but from where we sit, it's a fine madness.

"March Madness"

Tractor
2000 Peterbilt 379, 280-inch wheelbase w/ 63-in. Unibilt sleeper

Trailer
2000 Heil pneumatic vac tanker

Engine
Caterpillar C-12, 430-hp

Transmission
10-speed Eaton Fuller

Stainless
Accurate Industries

Lights
Truck-Lite LEDs; Low-Glow neon

Murals
Scott's Signs, Granville, MI

"You might be a chicken hauler if..." has as many answers as there are chicken trucks. In 1997, trucker Ray Carlisle listed a whole flock in his classic comedy album, "101 Reasons You're Probably a Chickenhauler." You can order it from www.raycarlisle.com.

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