It's hardly a cliché that you can sue anybody over anything. Have any doubts? Just check out these frivolous lawsuits reported by the American Tort Reform Association, a group focused on cutting down on the lawsuit abuse clogging our nation's civil justice system:
Refusing to be a Softee
You'd hardly suspect a company with a name like Mister Softee Inc. to go for the jugular. Yet the mobile ice cream vendor has filed a trademark infringement lawsuit against fellow ice cream vendors with names like Master Softee, Mister Soft, Mister Cones, and Mister Happy Time Inc.
Mister Softee apparently had a hard time serving process in the case, since the named defendants spend most of their time driving around.
Mister Softee alleges that its competitors decorate their ice cream trucks with colors and markings similar to those of Mister Softee, which threatens to confuse "children of all ages [who] run to Mister Softee trucks to purchase their favorite treat when they see the distinctive Mister Softee trucks and hear the familiar sounds of the Mister Softee jingle," according to the lawsuit.
No word on whether the Good Humor Man will be called as a witness.
Suing For Your Own Stupidity
It doesn't take a genius to realize that jumping out of an airplane is a risky undertaking. But a Midwest man is asking the court to side with him in a skydiving lesson gone wrong.
Paul Bloebaum signed a lengthy waiver before undertaking his skydiving adventure. He put his initials next to 25 paragraphs that state in no uncertain terms that he understood the risks of skydiving and had read the entire release.
When he did make his jump, the lines of his parachute became tangled and he waited too long to activate his spare. After landing, he suffered a shattered left shoulder and other injuries.
The attorney for Archway Skydiving Center in Illinois, Matthew Marlen, says that Bloebaum's injuries occurred after he landed, when he ran across a field after his parachute.
Bloebaum is asking a judge to throw out the long release he signed and hold the company responsible for his injuries.
"I knew there was a risk," says Bloebaum, "but I was excited. I thought if I only jumped one time, nothing could happen. The chances were too small."
His personal injury lawyer, Steve Grimm, told the Associated Press that signing a waiver doesn't mean anything and that skydiving companies "hide behind a release."
Lawsuit on the Rebound
A lawsuit has been filed against a California school district, by the family of a student who failed to make the varsity basketball team. After sophomore Jawann Rubin did not make the cut to be on his high school varsity basketball team, his father filed a lawsuit seeking $1.5 million in damages and demanding that the varsity basketball coach be fired.
Jawanns' father, Lynn Rubin, claims Jawann's family rearranged their schedules to accommodate varsity basketball practices after the coach encouraged Jawann to try-out for the team. Mr. Rubin claims the family was never consulted about the coach's decision not to advance Jawann from junior varsity to varsity.
According to the lawsuit, the coach cited school policy, which restricts sophomores to junior varsity status. However, after a confrontation between Jawann and his coach, Jawann was cut from the junior varsity team.
Oh, and that $1.5 million figure? Mr. Rubin calculated the amount in damages based on potential wages his son may have made with a professional basketball career.
You're Making Me Watch TV
We've all heard watching television is an unproductive use of time, but a Wisconsin man claims cable television made his wife fat, his kids lazy, and made him addicted to the boob tube.
Although many people would be thrilled with free cable, Timothy Dumouchel decided to sue because his cable connection remained intact for four years after he tried to get it canceled.
Dumouchel wants $5,000 or three computers, and a lifetime supply of free Internet service from Charter Communications to settle what he says will be a small claims suit.
"I believe that the reason I smoke and drink every day and my wife is overweight is because we watched TV every day for the last four years," Dumouchel stated in a written complaint against the company. "But the reason I am suing Charter is they did not let me make a decision as to what was best for myself and my family and (they have been) keeping cable (coming) into my home for four years after I asked them to turn it off."
