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A Christmas Poem For Truckers

By on November 1, 2019


BY: David A. Kolman, Senior Editor

What was originally known as ’A Visit from St. Nicholas’ was published unattributed in a Troy, New York newspaper two days before Christmas 1823. Clement Clarke Moore, a classics professor, writer and friend of author Washington Irving, is thought to have prepared the popular ’Twas the Night Before Christmas version in 1844. With apologies to the original author and to Mr. Moore, following is the 2019 trucker parody version prepared especially for RoadKing readers. Hope you enjoy.

Twas the night before Christmas and out on the roadways,
Four-wheelers were few, but truckers were many as always.

They were busy hauling all types of goodies and freight,
Delighted that traffic was moving at a very good rate.

Thoughts turned to their families at home nestled snuggly in their beds,
While happy visions of home time danced in the truckers’ heads.

This special night, truckers are still delivering to stores,
So items are in place for after-Christmas, clearance wars.

Struggling to make appointment times is no easy feat,
Particularly when encountering adverse conditions like snow, ice and sleet.

Truckers are hopeful receivers aren’t too far behind schedule,
Their being on time for these final deliveries is oh so essential.

Compounding matters are electronic logging devices,
That keep hours of service ticking away and are oh so concise.

There was a diversion from the concern and hurry,
For truckers to avoid feeling worried and sorry.

There were the usual CB chatter and cell phone calls,
Passing along warm, heartfelt seasons greetings to all.

Millions of professional truckers travel across the USA,
To keep America’s store shelves stocked with products each day. 

No matter the weather, night or day, or even on a holiday,
Truckers roll on, delivering the goods on time every single day.

Trucking is important to our economy, impacting nearly every aspect of our lives,
Without trucks, America as a nation could not function or survive.

Pulling into my reserved TA parking spot and hopping comfortably in bed,
I fell asleep to visions of a family Christmas dinner dancing in my head.

When outside my rig there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sleeper to see what was the matter.

The full moon in the sky shined brightly on the new-fallen snow,
Illuminating all the rigs and their occupants resting comfortably below.

When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a sight that made me shout: “whoa!”
It was a shiny red big rig with its numerous chicken lights all aglow.

I spotted a big, burly trucker in unusual attire, so jolly and quick,
I wondered if my trucker buddies were pulling some kind of new trick.

He had a bushy white mustache and a matching long beard,
And a very special look like someone who should be revered.

Wearing a most unusual white fur-trimmed jacket and pants,
This trucker had a matching hat that he wore at a slant.

I thought to myself could this be Santa Claus,
Had I crossed into the Twilight Zone without reasonable cause?

I noticed a large bundle of something he’d flung on his back,
He waved me over while pointing to a gigantic red sack.

Hesitating just a bit, I slowly meandered over to the guy,
Struggling to understand what the heck was going on and why.

“Ho! Ho! Ho!,” he exclaimed with much delight and glee,
I pondered whether I should turn around and quickly flee.

Quickly I decided it would be best to stay and take my chances,
It would be interesting to see the outcome of these unusual circumstances.

Gaining my composure, I politely replied: And a Ho! Ho! Ho! to you,
Would you mind if I asked you a question or two?

“Not at all,” was his cheerful reply,
“And I’ll answer with all kidding aside.”

What’s with your shiny, wild-looking ride that brought you here tonight?
Where are your reindeer and sleigh that deliver to the world in one night?

“The reindeer are well,” he said, “but I decided to give them a break this year,
My sleigh’s in the shop for PM service because that time had drawn near.”

“Transportation technology is rapidly evolving, as you’re surely aware,
Don’t you think it’s time for me to advance? I certainly wish to declare.”

“With the arrival of GPS and telematics, thought I’d give these technologies a go,
My elves even added their own magic touch to this rig, so watch out below.”

“This rig is Level 5 autonomous you know, a big step forward with full automation,
It handles all driving functions under all conditions, talk about jubilation.”

“This rig increases my productivity, efficiency and safety, shortens my time away,
When it comes to making Mrs. Claus happy, that’s certainly A-OK.”

Santa said now that his coffee thermos had a tasty World Blends refill,
He was ready to fly back into the night sky free from Christmas Eve’s chill.

Before he climbed aboard his autonomous rig, a present was pulled out of his sack,
“Many thanks for all that you truckers do,” he said, giving me a pat on the back.

In the spirit of the moment, Santa gave his air horn a long, hard tug,
Giving me a smart salute, his rig took off without even the slightest lug.

As he pulled up and away, Santa yelled out the window of his tractor’s door,
“Got to finish my annual deliveries on this marvelous world tour.”

Over his diesel engine’s roar, Santa exclaimed as he zoomed out of sight,
“Happy Holidays to all and to you and yours, a very good night.” 

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